(no subject)
Jul. 2nd, 2016 07:15 pmName: Kris
DW username: N/A
E-Mail: thisgray [at] gmail [dot ] com
IM: N/A
Plurk:
cityoflight
Other Characters: Kurt Weller |
startingpoint
Character Name: Andrea Harrison
Series: The Walking Dead
Timeline: Season 3, Episode 16, "Welcome to the Tombs" right after she's been bitten.
Canon Resource Link: LINK
Character History:
Prior to the zombie outbreak, Andrea worked as a civil rights lawyer, often distant from her family and missing important events from her younger sister's life. Given the age difference between Andrea and her sister, Amy (Andrea is twelve years older than her sister), the two weren't always close, but Andrea was making an effort to be more involved in her sister's life. Given a gun from their father for protection, the sisters set out on a roadtrip together, enjoying the time to reconnect. Just before Andrea could return Amy to college, the zombie outbreak began, stranding them near Atlanta. They were rescued by Dale Horvath (driving a large RV) and soon joined up with a group of other survivors, eventually setting up camp in the hills on the outskirts of Atlanta.
Their group is initially led primarily by Shane, until Rick Grimes connects with them. Andrea’s first meeting with Rick was a little shaky, as she admonished him for firing his weapon and drawing the walkers closer. But Rick was integral to helping Andrea and a small group - who’d left the larger group to pick up some supplies - escape the department store they had been holded up in. Everyone reconnects with the big group up in the hills, and Andrea brought back a present for her sister: a mermaid necklace, to give her for her upcoming birthday.
For a brief period of time, things seem to go well at their camp; Andrea and Amy go fishing, procuring a large haul, which everyone enjoys together that evening around a campfire. Unfortunately, their somewhat peaceful evening is shattered as a group of walkers descends on their campsite. Amy is bitten badly by a walker, dying quickly, though it takes a while for her to reanimate. Andrea never leaves her side, cradling her dead sister and eventually being the one to shoot her when she reanimates. The death of her sister depletes Andrea completely of any will to live, and she becomes a veritable ghost in a shell. She follows the team to CDC Headquarters, though she begins to fall apart, and when the CDC doctor (Jenner) offers them all a quick, painless way to die and escape the terror awaiting them if they go back outside, Andrea is ready to go along with it. Dale tries to talk her out of it, but Andrea is adamant about wanting to stay. It’s only when Dale decides to stay with her that it snaps her out of her desire to die, and she reluctantly leaves with him, narrowly avoiding certain death.
Though she ultimately chose to live in that moment, Andrea felt that she was coerced into the decision, causing friction between her and Dale for a while. The power to make her own choice should have been hers, he shouldn’t have essentially made that choice for her, she feels. As well, Dale takes her gun (the one her father gave her) away while he worries that she’s a danger to herself. Eventually, he returns the gun, but things are uneasy between the two previously close friends. Shortly after escaping the CDC, the group is attacked by a large horde of walkers, and though everyone survives, Sophia goes missing. They do everything they can to find her that day, but their efforts are in vain. They’re all determined, however, to keep searching, to not give up. Their efforts are unfortunately abruptly halted when Carl gets shot in the woods. Rick scoops him up, running blindly towards the first refuge he can find - the home of a man by the name of Hershel Greene - desperate for the man to save his boy. Though it’s a close call, Carl is saved, and Andrea and the others (having been stationed at Dale’s RV for the time being) make their way to Hershel’s farm, which ends up becoming their new base. In the wake of her sister’s recent death and Sophia’s disappearance, Andrea struggles to find her footing in the world, trying to determine whether or not she even wants to keep living. Out on a scouting mission with Daryl to help search for Sophia, Daryl bluntly asks her if she wants to live, to which she replies, "I don’t know if I want to live... or if I have to, or if it’s just a habit."
Daryl points out that it’s not an answer. The ensuing weeks spent at Hershel’s farm seem to be a spiritual journey of sorts for Andrea, to understand if she truly wants to live. Surviving is one thing, but living is something else entirely. Eventually, she begins to gravitate more and more towards Shane, feeling that he’s a better leader than Rick. Shane is the more aggressive of the two, the one seemingly more realistic about the world; Shane is ready to call off the search for Sophia much sooner than anyone else, and Andrea agrees with him. It’s not because she doesn’t care about Sophia, but her perspective on the life they live now is that they have to do everything they can for just each other, they can’t waste resources, they can’t risk their lives on doomed missions. More than anything, Andrea wants and needs to protect the people she cares about most. She puts them first. Shane understands this, and most importantly, Shane isn’t a victim. He’s proactive and he’s a leader. In light of what happened to Amy, and the amount of fear Andrea once felt about the world they were facing, she appreciates Shane’s fearlessness, she draws strength from him, and she starts to become much better adapted to the world. As her fear dissipates, it’s replaced with pragmatism and a commitment to living in this world.
Though she begins to adopt an ‘us versus them’ mentality, she’s not completely merciless. When the group captures a man, Randall, whom they fear may belong to a larger group that would come after them, everyone tries to decide if they should let him live or kill him. Most everyone feels that he should be killed, and Andrea is amongst them at first, but then Dale implores everyone to reconsider, desperately hoping someone has some humanity left. Andrea is the only one to openly side with Dale, indicating she not only does have some humanity left, but the tension between her and Dale is gone. Unfortunately, not long after that, Dale is killed by a walker. Andrea also creates some tension between herself and Maggie and Lori. Hershel Greene had been keeping walkers in the barn - family members and friends who’d died and reanimated - but Shane decided they all needed to be killed. Included among those walkers was Maggie and Beth’s mother. After all the walkers are killed, Beth spirals into depression, similar to how Andrea had felt after Amy’s death. The young girl seems suicidal, and Andrea feels that it should be Beth’s choice. She’s asked to keep an eye on her and she does, talking to her about how to deal with the pain: “The pain doesn’t go away. You just make room for it.” She doesn’t believe after they talk that Beth will actually try to kill herself, though she does feel that it’s still ultimately Beth’s choice to make no matter what. The only way to survive in their world, truly, is to have an actual will to live, and that can’t be forced upon Beth. Andrea resents having that choice taken away from her by Dale at the CDC, so wants Beth to at least have the latitude to decide. Unfortunately, Beth does try to hurt herself again, though the wounds aren’t deep. Both Maggie and Lori are angry at Andrea, though, and a rift forms between them.
Not long after this, Hershel’s farm gets overrun by an enormous horde of walkers, and the group is scattered. Andrea gets separated from everyone, running through the woods and fending for herself against walkers. For hours, she runs alone, protecting herself - no longer the fearful, helpless woman who would have welcomed death - but she’s near exhaustion and collapses. A walker comes close to killing her, but she’s saved by Michonne. The two stick together, surviving through the winter, journeying together for eight months. In that time, though, Andrea feels she’s never really gotten to fully know Michonne because her friend is often aloof and guarded. They’re close, though, and they stick together, with Michonne doing everything she can to keep Andrea alive when her friend becomes deathly ill with influenza.
It’s clear that Andrea will die if they don’t find help soon, and they happen to be taken in at a place called Woodbury. On the outside, it seems as idyllic as a place could get in the midst of a zombie apocalypse. There’s a fence around the small village, plenty of reinforcements to keep everyone living inside safe. The residents even have food and water, and seem to enjoy themselves. It’s almost surreal, and Andrea is quickly charmed by the place. Michonne has her doubts, though, and Andrea’s loyalty to Michonne keeps her from being fully taken in at first. When Michonne wants to leave, Andrea doesn’t understand why and thinks Michonne is being too distrustful, but reluctantly agrees to follow her. However, they are stopped at the gates by Merle, and Michonne gives Andrea an ultimatum, to either stay or come with her. Believing that Woodbury is the refuge they’ve sought for eight long months, Andrea hesitates, wanting to stay, to which Michonne tells her, “You just slowed me down anyway.”
Andrea is hurt by this, but tries to make some semblance of a life in Woodbury. She tries to integrate, eventually even assuming something of a leadership role while she grows closer to the Governor - the man who oversees the town of Woodbury. The two become romantically involved, having sex, while Andrea seems to believe she’s found a place to call home. When she’s witness to some walker fights - human beings pitted against walkers for sport - she’s horrified at first, questioning her decision to stay, but then realizes she liked the fights, largely because they had control over the situation. They had the upper hand against walkers, and out in the world, that’s not reality. A small group descends on Woodbury and the Governor’s people - including Andrea - retaliate. Andrea doesn’t realize at first that those people are Rick’s group, nor does she know that the Governor kidnapped Glenn and Maggie, beating Glenn savagely and attempting rape on Maggie. Michonne infiltrates Woodbury as well, attacking the Governor, inciting Andrea’s ire. She’s angry at her friend, even telling her to go to hell, and despite seeing the Governor’s collection of severed heads, and his zombie daughter, she tries to believe he’s still ultimately a good man. She still doesn’t know the full truth, and what he did to her former group, but when she sees that he’s captured Daryl, she becomes increasingly disturbed.
The Governor insists that Rick’s group attacked him first, and Andrea isn’t sure what to believe but she knows she needs to go to the prison and talk to Rick herself. She sneaks out, and she’s not warmly welcomed at all by anyone. Most of the group - previously her friends - regard her with distrust, except for Carol, who instructs Andrea to kill the Governor. Though Rick is cold towards her, he does give her a gun for protection, and they explain their side of the story. She goes back to Woodbury and is unable to go through with killing the Governor. A meeting between Rick and the Governor is arranged, to try and negotiate peace between them. Andrea tries to help oversee this, wanting everyone to coexist and believing that it’s possible. But then Hershel tells her the truth about the Governor, what he did to Maggie and Glenn, and he tells her she can’t go back to Woodbury. Despite that, she does go back, but she’s now fully determined to kill the Governor. Milton advises against that, and Andrea instead decides to try and get to the prison to warn her friends, to save them from what the Governor has planned for them. As she tries to escape, the Governor tracks her down, trying to prevent her from getting to Rick. She manages to cleverly elude him, actually making it to the prison, waving to Rick, but Rick doesn’t see her before she’s grabbed by the Governor and hauled off back to Woodbury. She’s tied up in a room with Milton - who’s been stabbed and is dying - and when Milton turns, she does her best to escape, but she’s ultimately bitten before she can kill him. Michonne, Rick, Daryl, and Tyreese go back to Woodbury for Andrea, but when they find her, it’s too late. She insists on wanting to shoot herself, but before she dies, Rick makes sure she knows she’s one of them, that she’s their family, too. Before she can pull the trigger and end her life, she is transported to Wonderland.
Abilities/Special Powers: No special powers, but she's good with a gun.
New Samples for Re-App 12/18/2016: LINK
Third-Person Sample:
She should be dead. She will be. This strange place straddled between worlds suspends them all in time, brings the dead back from wherever it is they go. She’ll be there eventually, and she can’t help wondering what that place is like. Wonderland is a decent enough refuge, and she’ll never bemoan the unlimited supply of food and water, but she’s reluctant to let it lull her into a false sense of comfort. This could be home, if she let it, but for how long?
She’d been seeking that all along, ever since she escaped Hershel’s farm. All she wanted with Michonne was a place they could stay, put down roots. Maybe that was the dumbest thing to ever want in a world gone to hell like theirs, but the dream of it kept them both going on their darkest days. Now, in a strange way, they have it here. She knows Wonderland isn’t without its dangers, it’s not paradise, but it’s better than their world. It’s better than darkness and nothing.
It seems cruel to bring the dead back here, to give them life again when it’s not meant to be. But if Amy came here, if Dale showed up, if she woke up tomorrow and her parents were here, she’d just be grateful. And she is. But she wonders what she’ll be going back to, what death will feel like when it takes her, how long it will be before she sees Michonne and Rick and Daryl and everyone else again. This place, whatever it is, maybe it should be home. The why and how long don’t matter. Even if it’s just one day of this, to apologize to Michonne and make things right, it’s worth it.
First-Person Sample:
[ The last time she was this preoccupied with death, it was because she was very much alive and didn't want to be. Amy had just died, and from her perspective, there was nothing else to live for. She wanted to die peacefully at the CDC. And yet, with everything that had happened since that moment, she knows it was worth it to have held on.
But now, she's considering her own death again; not because she's contemplating anything, but because her death is looming and unavoidable whenever she returns home. ]
I know there are others here who are dead where they come from. Or...will be dead, whenever they go back.
[ That's a cheerful way to start a broadcast, right? ]
Do you think about it much here? Or do you try to make this place home?
[ Dead or nearly dead - what a great club to be in, right? ]
I just got here, a little while ago. Whenever I go back, I won't have long. How do you...deal with that?
DW username: N/A
E-Mail: thisgray [at] gmail [dot ] com
IM: N/A
Plurk:
Other Characters: Kurt Weller |
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Character Name: Andrea Harrison
Series: The Walking Dead
Timeline: Season 3, Episode 16, "Welcome to the Tombs" right after she's been bitten.
Canon Resource Link: LINK
Character History:
Prior to the zombie outbreak, Andrea worked as a civil rights lawyer, often distant from her family and missing important events from her younger sister's life. Given the age difference between Andrea and her sister, Amy (Andrea is twelve years older than her sister), the two weren't always close, but Andrea was making an effort to be more involved in her sister's life. Given a gun from their father for protection, the sisters set out on a roadtrip together, enjoying the time to reconnect. Just before Andrea could return Amy to college, the zombie outbreak began, stranding them near Atlanta. They were rescued by Dale Horvath (driving a large RV) and soon joined up with a group of other survivors, eventually setting up camp in the hills on the outskirts of Atlanta.
Their group is initially led primarily by Shane, until Rick Grimes connects with them. Andrea’s first meeting with Rick was a little shaky, as she admonished him for firing his weapon and drawing the walkers closer. But Rick was integral to helping Andrea and a small group - who’d left the larger group to pick up some supplies - escape the department store they had been holded up in. Everyone reconnects with the big group up in the hills, and Andrea brought back a present for her sister: a mermaid necklace, to give her for her upcoming birthday.
For a brief period of time, things seem to go well at their camp; Andrea and Amy go fishing, procuring a large haul, which everyone enjoys together that evening around a campfire. Unfortunately, their somewhat peaceful evening is shattered as a group of walkers descends on their campsite. Amy is bitten badly by a walker, dying quickly, though it takes a while for her to reanimate. Andrea never leaves her side, cradling her dead sister and eventually being the one to shoot her when she reanimates. The death of her sister depletes Andrea completely of any will to live, and she becomes a veritable ghost in a shell. She follows the team to CDC Headquarters, though she begins to fall apart, and when the CDC doctor (Jenner) offers them all a quick, painless way to die and escape the terror awaiting them if they go back outside, Andrea is ready to go along with it. Dale tries to talk her out of it, but Andrea is adamant about wanting to stay. It’s only when Dale decides to stay with her that it snaps her out of her desire to die, and she reluctantly leaves with him, narrowly avoiding certain death.
Though she ultimately chose to live in that moment, Andrea felt that she was coerced into the decision, causing friction between her and Dale for a while. The power to make her own choice should have been hers, he shouldn’t have essentially made that choice for her, she feels. As well, Dale takes her gun (the one her father gave her) away while he worries that she’s a danger to herself. Eventually, he returns the gun, but things are uneasy between the two previously close friends. Shortly after escaping the CDC, the group is attacked by a large horde of walkers, and though everyone survives, Sophia goes missing. They do everything they can to find her that day, but their efforts are in vain. They’re all determined, however, to keep searching, to not give up. Their efforts are unfortunately abruptly halted when Carl gets shot in the woods. Rick scoops him up, running blindly towards the first refuge he can find - the home of a man by the name of Hershel Greene - desperate for the man to save his boy. Though it’s a close call, Carl is saved, and Andrea and the others (having been stationed at Dale’s RV for the time being) make their way to Hershel’s farm, which ends up becoming their new base. In the wake of her sister’s recent death and Sophia’s disappearance, Andrea struggles to find her footing in the world, trying to determine whether or not she even wants to keep living. Out on a scouting mission with Daryl to help search for Sophia, Daryl bluntly asks her if she wants to live, to which she replies, "I don’t know if I want to live... or if I have to, or if it’s just a habit."
Daryl points out that it’s not an answer. The ensuing weeks spent at Hershel’s farm seem to be a spiritual journey of sorts for Andrea, to understand if she truly wants to live. Surviving is one thing, but living is something else entirely. Eventually, she begins to gravitate more and more towards Shane, feeling that he’s a better leader than Rick. Shane is the more aggressive of the two, the one seemingly more realistic about the world; Shane is ready to call off the search for Sophia much sooner than anyone else, and Andrea agrees with him. It’s not because she doesn’t care about Sophia, but her perspective on the life they live now is that they have to do everything they can for just each other, they can’t waste resources, they can’t risk their lives on doomed missions. More than anything, Andrea wants and needs to protect the people she cares about most. She puts them first. Shane understands this, and most importantly, Shane isn’t a victim. He’s proactive and he’s a leader. In light of what happened to Amy, and the amount of fear Andrea once felt about the world they were facing, she appreciates Shane’s fearlessness, she draws strength from him, and she starts to become much better adapted to the world. As her fear dissipates, it’s replaced with pragmatism and a commitment to living in this world.
Though she begins to adopt an ‘us versus them’ mentality, she’s not completely merciless. When the group captures a man, Randall, whom they fear may belong to a larger group that would come after them, everyone tries to decide if they should let him live or kill him. Most everyone feels that he should be killed, and Andrea is amongst them at first, but then Dale implores everyone to reconsider, desperately hoping someone has some humanity left. Andrea is the only one to openly side with Dale, indicating she not only does have some humanity left, but the tension between her and Dale is gone. Unfortunately, not long after that, Dale is killed by a walker. Andrea also creates some tension between herself and Maggie and Lori. Hershel Greene had been keeping walkers in the barn - family members and friends who’d died and reanimated - but Shane decided they all needed to be killed. Included among those walkers was Maggie and Beth’s mother. After all the walkers are killed, Beth spirals into depression, similar to how Andrea had felt after Amy’s death. The young girl seems suicidal, and Andrea feels that it should be Beth’s choice. She’s asked to keep an eye on her and she does, talking to her about how to deal with the pain: “The pain doesn’t go away. You just make room for it.” She doesn’t believe after they talk that Beth will actually try to kill herself, though she does feel that it’s still ultimately Beth’s choice to make no matter what. The only way to survive in their world, truly, is to have an actual will to live, and that can’t be forced upon Beth. Andrea resents having that choice taken away from her by Dale at the CDC, so wants Beth to at least have the latitude to decide. Unfortunately, Beth does try to hurt herself again, though the wounds aren’t deep. Both Maggie and Lori are angry at Andrea, though, and a rift forms between them.
Not long after this, Hershel’s farm gets overrun by an enormous horde of walkers, and the group is scattered. Andrea gets separated from everyone, running through the woods and fending for herself against walkers. For hours, she runs alone, protecting herself - no longer the fearful, helpless woman who would have welcomed death - but she’s near exhaustion and collapses. A walker comes close to killing her, but she’s saved by Michonne. The two stick together, surviving through the winter, journeying together for eight months. In that time, though, Andrea feels she’s never really gotten to fully know Michonne because her friend is often aloof and guarded. They’re close, though, and they stick together, with Michonne doing everything she can to keep Andrea alive when her friend becomes deathly ill with influenza.
It’s clear that Andrea will die if they don’t find help soon, and they happen to be taken in at a place called Woodbury. On the outside, it seems as idyllic as a place could get in the midst of a zombie apocalypse. There’s a fence around the small village, plenty of reinforcements to keep everyone living inside safe. The residents even have food and water, and seem to enjoy themselves. It’s almost surreal, and Andrea is quickly charmed by the place. Michonne has her doubts, though, and Andrea’s loyalty to Michonne keeps her from being fully taken in at first. When Michonne wants to leave, Andrea doesn’t understand why and thinks Michonne is being too distrustful, but reluctantly agrees to follow her. However, they are stopped at the gates by Merle, and Michonne gives Andrea an ultimatum, to either stay or come with her. Believing that Woodbury is the refuge they’ve sought for eight long months, Andrea hesitates, wanting to stay, to which Michonne tells her, “You just slowed me down anyway.”
Andrea is hurt by this, but tries to make some semblance of a life in Woodbury. She tries to integrate, eventually even assuming something of a leadership role while she grows closer to the Governor - the man who oversees the town of Woodbury. The two become romantically involved, having sex, while Andrea seems to believe she’s found a place to call home. When she’s witness to some walker fights - human beings pitted against walkers for sport - she’s horrified at first, questioning her decision to stay, but then realizes she liked the fights, largely because they had control over the situation. They had the upper hand against walkers, and out in the world, that’s not reality. A small group descends on Woodbury and the Governor’s people - including Andrea - retaliate. Andrea doesn’t realize at first that those people are Rick’s group, nor does she know that the Governor kidnapped Glenn and Maggie, beating Glenn savagely and attempting rape on Maggie. Michonne infiltrates Woodbury as well, attacking the Governor, inciting Andrea’s ire. She’s angry at her friend, even telling her to go to hell, and despite seeing the Governor’s collection of severed heads, and his zombie daughter, she tries to believe he’s still ultimately a good man. She still doesn’t know the full truth, and what he did to her former group, but when she sees that he’s captured Daryl, she becomes increasingly disturbed.
The Governor insists that Rick’s group attacked him first, and Andrea isn’t sure what to believe but she knows she needs to go to the prison and talk to Rick herself. She sneaks out, and she’s not warmly welcomed at all by anyone. Most of the group - previously her friends - regard her with distrust, except for Carol, who instructs Andrea to kill the Governor. Though Rick is cold towards her, he does give her a gun for protection, and they explain their side of the story. She goes back to Woodbury and is unable to go through with killing the Governor. A meeting between Rick and the Governor is arranged, to try and negotiate peace between them. Andrea tries to help oversee this, wanting everyone to coexist and believing that it’s possible. But then Hershel tells her the truth about the Governor, what he did to Maggie and Glenn, and he tells her she can’t go back to Woodbury. Despite that, she does go back, but she’s now fully determined to kill the Governor. Milton advises against that, and Andrea instead decides to try and get to the prison to warn her friends, to save them from what the Governor has planned for them. As she tries to escape, the Governor tracks her down, trying to prevent her from getting to Rick. She manages to cleverly elude him, actually making it to the prison, waving to Rick, but Rick doesn’t see her before she’s grabbed by the Governor and hauled off back to Woodbury. She’s tied up in a room with Milton - who’s been stabbed and is dying - and when Milton turns, she does her best to escape, but she’s ultimately bitten before she can kill him. Michonne, Rick, Daryl, and Tyreese go back to Woodbury for Andrea, but when they find her, it’s too late. She insists on wanting to shoot herself, but before she dies, Rick makes sure she knows she’s one of them, that she’s their family, too. Before she can pull the trigger and end her life, she is transported to Wonderland.
Abilities/Special Powers: No special powers, but she's good with a gun.
New Samples for Re-App 12/18/2016: LINK
Third-Person Sample:
She should be dead. She will be. This strange place straddled between worlds suspends them all in time, brings the dead back from wherever it is they go. She’ll be there eventually, and she can’t help wondering what that place is like. Wonderland is a decent enough refuge, and she’ll never bemoan the unlimited supply of food and water, but she’s reluctant to let it lull her into a false sense of comfort. This could be home, if she let it, but for how long?
She’d been seeking that all along, ever since she escaped Hershel’s farm. All she wanted with Michonne was a place they could stay, put down roots. Maybe that was the dumbest thing to ever want in a world gone to hell like theirs, but the dream of it kept them both going on their darkest days. Now, in a strange way, they have it here. She knows Wonderland isn’t without its dangers, it’s not paradise, but it’s better than their world. It’s better than darkness and nothing.
It seems cruel to bring the dead back here, to give them life again when it’s not meant to be. But if Amy came here, if Dale showed up, if she woke up tomorrow and her parents were here, she’d just be grateful. And she is. But she wonders what she’ll be going back to, what death will feel like when it takes her, how long it will be before she sees Michonne and Rick and Daryl and everyone else again. This place, whatever it is, maybe it should be home. The why and how long don’t matter. Even if it’s just one day of this, to apologize to Michonne and make things right, it’s worth it.
First-Person Sample:
[ The last time she was this preoccupied with death, it was because she was very much alive and didn't want to be. Amy had just died, and from her perspective, there was nothing else to live for. She wanted to die peacefully at the CDC. And yet, with everything that had happened since that moment, she knows it was worth it to have held on.
But now, she's considering her own death again; not because she's contemplating anything, but because her death is looming and unavoidable whenever she returns home. ]
I know there are others here who are dead where they come from. Or...will be dead, whenever they go back.
[ That's a cheerful way to start a broadcast, right? ]
Do you think about it much here? Or do you try to make this place home?
[ Dead or nearly dead - what a great club to be in, right? ]
I just got here, a little while ago. Whenever I go back, I won't have long. How do you...deal with that?